ATTENTION! ATTENTION! WHAT FOLLOWS IS AN OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION FROM GWAR’S

MIDDLE-LEVEL, NOT-SO-SECRET, HULKING ANTARCTIC FORTRESS OF ETERNAL JOY AND TORMENT – O.K. HERE IT IS! WHAT’S UP FREAKS, IT IS YOUR LORD AND MASTER, ODERUS URUNGUS, LEAD (AND REAR) SINGER OF THE WORLD’S (AND INDEED, ALL THINGS) FOREMOST SCHLOCK ROCK GROUP BAND SPLAT-TAK-U-LAR…THAT’S RIGHT—GWAR! AND AFTER SEVERAL WEEK’S OF CRACK-FUELED ORGIES (I.E. THE FALL/WINTER 2009 U.S. TOUR AND ALL THE SORDID ACTIVITIES THAT FOLLOWED IT), I HAVE JUST COME FROM A “HIGH” LEVEL MEETING WITH MY BAND BROTHERS AND ACTUALLY STARTED TO FIGURE OUT JUST WHAT THE FUCK WE ARE GOING TO BE UP TO THIS YEAR, AND HOW YOU HUMAN FILTH (and slaves) CAN COME GAPE AT OUR AWESOMENESS!

WELL, THE OBVIOUS IS CLEAR. WE ARE CONTINUING OUR VERY SPECIAL TWO-YEAR LONG ANNIVERSARY “SLAY-A-BRATION” OF GWAR’S 25TH YEAR OF COMPLETE DOMINANCE OVER THIS MISERABLE PLANET. WE ARE ABOUT A QUARTER OF THE WAY THROUGH IT AND IT IS OUR SACRED DUTY TO CONTINUE WITH UNPARALELLED FURY UNTIL IT IS OVER! LUST IN SPACE SHALL BE THE CRY AS THE MIGHTY GWAR CONTINUES ITS DEFENSE OF THE PLANET EARTH FROM THE FORCES OF CARDINAL SYN, THROUGHOUT THE TEEMING CITIES OF MAN AND MAGGOT KIND! SO LOOK FOR GWAR TO RETURN TO THE UNITED STATES IN LATE SPRING, BRINGING DESTRUCTION TO ALL WHO THOUGHT THEY HAD BEEN SPARED, AND CULMINATIING WITH A BLOOD-FEAST OF DRACU-LESQUE PROPORTION AT A ONE OF THIS PLANETS BIGGEST MUSIC FESTIVALS…

SOUND THE HORN, BANG THE DRUM, IMPALE THE MIDGET! DO ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT HELPS YOU SPREAD THE CRY

GWAR IS PLAYING BONNAROO!

THAT’S RIGHT, ONE THE MOST NOTORIOUS BANDS IN ROCK AND ROLL HISTORY, AND THE ONLY ONE EVER TO HAIL FROM ANTARCTICA, THE MIGHTY GWAR IS SET TO CLOSE THE MAIN STAGE ON SATURDAY NIGHT, JUNE THE 12TH, AT THIS YEARS BONNAROO MUSIC FESTIVAL. AFTER A HOST OF OTHER AMAZING BANDS (AND SOME SHITTY ONES…) HAVE DRIVEN THE HUMANS INTO A ORGIASTIC FRENZY, JUST AS THE DEATH LEGIONS OF CARDINAL SYN DESCEND FROM ABOVE, SPEWING PLASMA-WEAPONS INTO THE HORRIFIED CROWD, THEN AND ONLY THEN SHALL GWAR TAKE THE STAGE, HOOF, NAIL AND CLAW!!!

“THIS IS AN UN-PRECEDENTED OPPORTUNITY FOR US TO BUST -UP OUR PERSONAL BEST “KILL COUNT” OF 70,000 DEATHS,” WHICH WE INFLICTED ON THE HUMANS AT WACKEN LAST YEAR, SAID THE BAND’S FRONT-THING, ODERUS URUNGUS. “SUPPOSEDLY THERE WILL BE OVER 100,00 POTENTIAL VICTIMS-AND WE INTEND TO KILL THEM ALL!”

IN YET ANOTHER NOD TO THE STELLAR MAGNIFICENCE OF GWAR, THIS WORLD’S ONLY OPENLY-EXTRATERRESTRIAL ROCK OUTFIT WILL BE SHARING THE STAGE WITH SOME OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN SHOW BIZ WITH EVERYBODY FROM JAY-Z TO THE MELVINS.

“PERSONALLY I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO NOSTRI- RAPING THE ENTIRE DAVE MATTHEWS BAND”, SAID ODERUS, MOUTHING OFF AS USUAL.
AND THE SUMMER SHOWS NO LET-UP AS GWAR RETURNS TO EUROPE IN A HIDEOUS DISPLAY OF CHAOS, DEATH, AND FILTH.. NOT IN THE WHOLE OF EUROPES BLOOD-DRENCHED HISTORY WILL YOU FIND SUCH A HIDEOUS GATHERING OF DAMNED SOULS AS YOU WILL WHEN YOU WITNESS GWAR THIS SUMMER IN EUROPE!!!!!!! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!

02.07. Hamburg – Markthalle (Germany) NEW
03.07. Roitzschjora – With Full Force (Germany)
16.07. Dour – Dour Festival (Belgium)
12.08. Jaromer – Brutal Assault Festival (Czech Republic)
14.08. Ulft – Huntenpop (Netherlands)
15.08. Derby – Bloodstock (Great Britain)
20.08. Dinckelsbruhl – Summer Breeze Festival (Germany) NEW
21.08. Lierop – Nirwana Tuinfest (Netherland)

OUR RUTHLESS EXTERMINATION OF ALL LIFE SHALL BE CONTINUED AFTER WE HAVE DRIVEN THE FORCES OF CARDINAL SYN (WHO IS AN ASSHOLE) BACK INTO THE INKY ABYSS! AND AS WE SLAY, WE CELEBRATE 25 YEARS OF DEBAUCHERY, DEPRAVITY, AND ENTERTAINMENT WITH THE WORLD’S FOREMOST AUTHORITY ON ALL THAT…FUCKING GWAR!

LOOK FOR A SLEW OF BOTH COMMERATIVE AND COMPLETELY FRESH PROJECTS BIRTHING FROM OUR DISEASED WOMBS THROUGHOUT THIS TIME…THOUGH I CAN GIVE YOU NO FRESH CLUES I CAN TELL YOU THAT SEVERAL BONER-FIED PROJECTS ARE IN THE OFFING, STUFF SO GOOD YOU WILL CREAM BLOOD OUT OF YOUR EYES. MORE DETAILS WILL BE COMING WHEN WE FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT! IN THE MEANTIME, RAPE AN ANIMAL FOR CHRIST, AND YOUR MOM DOESN’T COUNT. BECAUSE I CHOPPED OFF HER FINGERS!
–oderus

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