Brian McDonald (perhaps better known by his Indian name, He Who Sucks Cesspool Scum) is from that fly-flecked dungheap of wasted waterfront property known as Norfolk, Virginia. He is, rightfully so, a dedicated Bohab and has taken time from his life of doing absolutely nothing to advance your pitiful cause of humanity to curate some works of “art” from his fellow Bohabs.
As Brian tells it, “We noticed some of the Bohabs tirelessly working on drawings, paintings, sculpture, and many other art forms featuring GWAR and their triumphant destruction of Earth.”
What else would they draw? Humans? Pffft.
Brian thought it might prove helpful to gather them as forensic sketches to help authorities. As if A) It would provide them any help against our power, and B) Anyone on this wasted rock of Earth would not know who we are.
One such “artist” is known as Erik, a cook from Jefferson City, Missouri.
We like our slaves well-fattened before we eat them, so Erik’s profession is a noble one.
“A friend of mine who booked metal and punk bands showed me a printed ad of where to see them. There was a black and white picture of Balsac…”
Doesn’t do him justice. Color does a much better job of capturing his horror and glory, but whatever…
“He invited me over to watch a VHS tape of Live From Antarctica. That was it. I instantly became a Bohab.”
We have the effect on a lot of humans.
“I saw a live show during the 1991 Scumtour. Something happened when I got hit with that first wave of spew. I’ve always drawn creatures, but my passion has been bringing them to life in three dimensions. I’ve started creating my own GWAR action figures, and maybe one day I can donate them to the Slave Pit.”
Careful, Erik. You humans have a pitiful mechanism called a “copyright,” and while it is of no use to us, it sometimes does come in handy. Either way, we might like to see your tiny GWAR idols of worship.
Next up, Byron. Byron is a medical cannabis inspector and professional failure at everything unrelated to art.
We like him. He probably tastes like chicken.
“My art is how I see music – literally. Since I’ve been able to hold my pecker I’ve been holding a pencil…”
Remind us to never touch your art, Byron.
“Seeing GWAR in Phallus in Wonderland and Dawn of the Day of the Night of the Penguins absolutely hooked me. I spilled an entire pot of coffee watching Dawn. I like to call what I do now GWART…”
That’s catchy, Byron. Got a copyright on that?
“I’ve been a very unfocused artist for the majority of my life, and advice from Oderus Urungus helped me and his influence changed my outlook on art. The Dark Lords of GWAR are my biggest inspiration, second only to my father.”
We don’t always recall the atrocities we commit as they often occur during walking blackouts, so it’s nice to see some Bohabs committing them to art. For this we will kill them all.