In what has been described as the greatest exodus since what ever happened last time they did this, followers of the rock-group-tribe-band GWAR began to move towards the state of Virginia, utilizing public transport, covered wagons, and occasionally their own automobiles. Their goal? To get to Hadad’s Water Park for the weekend of August 18th and pay homage to their mighty overlords GWAR at the 3rd Annual GWAR-B-Q! In recent years the event, which has roots that stretch back to the band’s earliest days, has transformed from the occasional raucous parties the band would hold in their “Slave Pit” production facility to an annual music and meat festival that is growing every year!
Slave Pit spokesman Dave Brockie had this to say “We are really exciteAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” as he unexpectedly received a battle-axe through the head delivered by Oderus Urungus, GWAR’s lead singer, who went on to say—
“The countdown is on and we are in the homestretch. The GWAR-B-Q is in a mere…number…of days. Or something. We don’t have math on Scumdoggia. Math is dumb. I do know that August 18th is right around the corner and across this miserable planet humans are preparing to meet their masters in an event that even I am looking forward to! Even now the stench of the blazing cauldrons of meat (and some veggies) has spread over a state-wide swath, and the glow of the mighty fires can be seen for miles! Head’s will roll, your skull is my bowl! See you at the GWAR-B-Q!”
He then leapt through a secret door (without opening it) and flew off in GWAR’s hulking Bat-Shaped Helicopter.
With GWAR headlining the day, supported by amazing bands like The Casualties, Strike Anywhere (in their ONLY 2012 U.S. appearance thus far), Ghoul, Lionize and many more, plus two stages, tons of vendors, a half-pipe and of course all of the old-school water park fun that Hadad’s normally offers, the stage is set for the party of the summer.
Just as athletes around the globe trained their whole lives to have a shot at getting to the Olympics, GWAR fans have made similar sacrifices to bathe in the presence of their hideous overlords. A typical example is Floobis McGee of Monkey’s Eyebrow, KN. Located hitchhiking (in the wrong direction) to the GWAR-B-Q, the grossly overweight Floobis had this to say-
“I have worked in the adult entertainment industry all year to save up enough to get to the GWAR-B-Q,” he said, drool cascading down his zit-bloated chin. “Now that I have thousands of dollars, inexplicably, I am still hitch-hiking.”
The festivities start the night before at local club Strange Matter as Brockie plays host to the “B4BQ”, featuring a slew of other bands that really wanted to play at the GWAR-B-Q but can’t. Check it out at http://www.facebook.com/events/137634676376597/
Of course a GWAR-B-Q would not be complete without tons of food and booze! Here’s a list of some of the vendors that have been lined up for the event:
Loveland Beer Distributors
- PBR, National Bohemian
Cakes by Eve
Satan’s Sideshow Merchandise
RVA Beard League
2BNB Bottom and Back
- @2BNB will provide bus transportation to Hadads Lake. Schedule and Location TBA
This year’s GWAR-B-Q would not be possible without a slew of kick ass sponsors including:
Ring Dog Rescue
Metal Blade Records
Clear Channel 102.1 The ‘X’ FM
Enemy Ink Merchandise
SINED Snowboards and Skateboards
McCormick’s Whiskey Grill & Smokehouse
Indie Merch Store