GWAR NEWS

URUNGUS GRABS VICTORY - CHOKES TRACY SMOTHERS THE F OUT



In an event asinine yet sublime, GWAR lead singer Oderus Urungus has claimed victory over world-famous wrestler Tracy Smothers in a match held last week at Schoenbaum Amphitheater in Charleston, W. Virginia.

 

"It wasn't too hard...I just grabbed his neck, and choked. His eyeballs popped out of his skull. End of story," said the well-hung shock-rocker.

 

Smothers corpse was quickly re-animated by the necrotic power of Oderus, and the two pledged to continue to wage their war as long as people "gave them money for it".

 

"This is huge in Czechoslovakia," said the still-bleeding Smothers.

 

There has been no word on the re-match


 

Oderus also recently appeared on Fox News' late-night show, "Red Eye," as their "Interplanetary Correspondent." The footage is available here:http://www.foxnews.com/search-results/m/23172690/interplanetary-correspondent.htm#q=oderus.

 

The world continues to count down to the release of GWAR's new album, Lust In Space, and the beginning of their 2-year long 25th Anniversary tour, both coming on August 18th!

GWAR lead singer's new role on Fox News 'Red Eye'


It's official! Oderus Urungus, lead singer of GWAR, has been named "Official Interplanetary Correspondant" to FOX New's late night show "Red Eye". The bestial singer thing of the galaxies most dangerous band returned to the airwaves with a triumphant sounding of his warty throat that left the female guests of the program gasping with lust, and left his face above that of Bill 0'Reilly's on the FOX News top video clips webpage. Stay tuned for further developments as GWAR infests FOX News! Click here to view clip.

"LUST IN SPACE" DUE AUGUST 18


GWAR CELEBRATES 25TH ANNIVERSARY AND ESCAPE FROM EARTH WITH NEW ALBUM - "LUST IN SPACE" - DUE AUGUST 18
 
SINGER ODERUS ORUNGUS TO MAKE 2ND APPEARANCE ON FOX NEWS' "RED EYE"

Intergalactic shock rockers GWAR are back with a brand-new album, Lust In Space¸ just in time to celebrate their 25th Anniversary as a band. The Scumdogs of the Universe are particularly thrilled this time around as they have finally escaped the seething, filthy mudball that is Earth! GWAR will also be triumphantly returning to Metal Blade Records for the release of Lust In Space, due August 18.
 
The band will also be terrorizing the airwaves once again, appearing on Fox News' late-night show, "Red Eye,' on Monday, June 22.
 
Quoth GWAR's lead singer Oderus Urungus, "The lead-up to the release of Lust in Space, GWAR's return to Metal Blade, continues to grow in size and fury...on Monday, June 22, GWAR's lead singer, ME, Oderus Urungus, shall re-appear on Fox News' late-night hit news show, RED EYE. My first time on the show was a great success. Millions of emails came in, and even though I wrote the great majority of them, they still asked me back! The fools! I am hoping to use my status as an intergalactic celebrity (and my ability to travel the cosmos) to turn a revealing light on some of our universe's more unsavory secrets...so tune in to Oderus and GWAR on Fox News' RED EYE, hosted by the delightfully miniature Greg Gutfeld on Monday, June 22 at 3:00AM EST!"
 
Also, on Wednesday, June 24th, the Earth will tremble with the colossal forces to be unleashed when Oderus Urungus, lead singer of the galaxies' most dangerous band, GWAR, meets Tracy Smothers of IWA East Coast Wrestling, known large and hairy person, in a no-holds-barred wrestling match of titanic proportion!
 
Quoteth Oderus, "I have no idea how I got roped into this one. I guess someone is making money off it. No matter! I will be there, with bells on, and this Tracy Smothers so-and-so is going to find out just what it's like to go toe-to toe with an intergalactic god! I just hope he shaves his armpits first."
 
The "Loser Leaves Earth" match will be part of the IWA East Coast Wrestling Event, "Pondo's Big Ass Birthday Bash" held at Schoenbaum Amphitheater in Coonskin Park, Charleston, WV, on June 24th
 
"Hell, that makes me want to lose!" said Oderus, right before burying his Cuttlefish in a jar of stewed bloodworms.
 
 GWAR's two-year long 25th Anniversary starts August 18th, when their new album, Lust In Space, mother fucking drops!

Hold the presses! This breaking news story has just come into Slave Pit Central!


NEW EVIDENCE SURFACES IN CARRADINE "STRANGLE AND DANGLE" PROBE

Police, still puzzling over the bizarre death of actor David Carradine, have released this image, taken by a hotel security camera. It shows a shadowy figure thought to be that of Oderus Urungus, lead singer of the notorious rock-group-band-GWAR. This is just the latest in a series of bizarre rumors surrounding the Carradine's death. First authorities heard rumors of a connection to the death of Bruce Lee and the famous television show, "Kung Fu", in which Carradine starred. Underworld figures allegedly sought revenge for the stealing of the idea for the show from Lee, who was then killed to keep the crime a secret. Carradine was allegedly lured to Asia under the false pretense of starring in a new film. 

Another suspect in the case is Jackson Brown, ex-husband of actress Darrell Hannah, whom he was convicted of abusing in 1992, and who was also man-handled by Carradine in the film "Kill Bill ".

"Nobody slaps Darrell around but me..." he was recently quoted as saying, continuing on with a racist tirade.

GWAR Crashes Red Eye Party!

This past weekend saw the Big Apple reeling under a carefully-coordinated explosion of violence from the worlds most dangerous band, GWAR! First off the mutant barbarian tribe descended upon the Javits Center for the 2009 Fangoria Horror Con. The "Skin-Tent" was set up, and Slaves of GWAR began to attend to the slavering masses lust for all things GWAR. Band members Oderus Urungus and Jizmak Da Gusha made several appearances, ruining several things, all the while attended by their manager, Sleazy P. Martini. A surprise attack by Sawborg Destructo was about to occur, but failed to materialize as he became distracted by the hot chicks at the Fangoria Fetish Show. By this point GWAR lead singer Oderus Urungus, had slunk off into the night to appear on Fox News "Red Eye", hosted Greg Gutman. Oderus spared the dapper hosts life, and went on to plug GWAR's new album relentlessly. After the show, Oderus posed for pictures with a Catholic priest, then split and gutted the terrified baby-licker. He quickly left in a cab, missing the police by seconds.

GWAR went on to terrorize the FangoCon for the rest of the weekend, leaving the Javits Center in shattered flames. After GWAR had departed from the scene of carnage, Slave Pit artist/musicians Don Drakulich, Dave Brockie, Brad Roberts, and Matt Maguire held a q +a session to the surviving convention-goers. Some wanted to know why they had spent money to get into an event where loved ones were killed, but still agreed that GWAR kicks ass.

GWAR's two-year long 25th Anniversary starts August 18th, when their new album, LUST IN SPACE, mother fucking drops!