The time for GWAR to address the nation is NOW.

Every year people complain about who the halftime show is going to feature, now we are telling you who we want: WE WANT GWAR in 2015!

Why should articles like “Bruno Mars Announced For Super Bowl Halftime Show, Gwar Waits Until Next Year (Again)” (from Screen Junkies) be a joke?

We don’t want another year of sitting around talking through a muted, boring NFL Super Bowl halftime show. We want something different. We want a real spectacle that only GWAR can provide. Doesn’t the NFL want more viewers? Don’t advertisers want more people paying attention? This way everyone wins.

Plus, GWAR’s relationship with American football is one of the strongest in music. Front man Dave Brockie writes a football column for MetalSucks.com called “Necessary Roughness” even the “The Dan Patrick Show” has an Oderous mask on display. It’s been suggested by Sports Illustrated that GWAR should become mascots!

NFL must listen to the people. GWAR is more American than apple pie.

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Hot off their last-second saving of the annual GWAR-B-Q, and lead singer Oderus Urungus’s wrapping of his new TV show, FEARnet’s “HOLLISTON”, out this spring, GWAR has announced “that for the second straight year they will be appearing on “Late Night w/ Jimmy Fallon”, on Thursday October 27th as part of their humungous “Return of the World Maggot” tour, set to crawl forth from Hell next week.

“We are overjoyed that Jimmy had the good sense to invite us back”, declared front-thing Oderus Urungus (whose tweets are hilarious — follow him @therealoderus) “as we had planned to return anyway. Now Fallon can do the show with his head still attached to his body.”

In the continuing support of their insanely heavy latest Metal Blade release – last year’s “Bloody Pit of Horror”, GWAR is set to hit the road starting Oct. 18th, along with Every Time I Die and either GHOUL or Warbeast (depending on where in the country you are), for a six-week tour of major GWAR strongholds.

Oderus had this to say about the upcoming slaughter-fest – “Ever since we acquired a Skumship (GWAR’s intergalactic war-barge), we have had to spend more time off-planet, you know, killing stuff, so we couldn’t visit as many shit-hole clubs as we would normally. That means all you GWAR bohabs will have to show your devotion by driving endless miles in dangerous vehicles just so you can be ripped into shreds and have your girlfriend devoured by a giant worm.”

In other Slave-Pit news, GWAR has revealed that the brutal hazing ritual required of any new member is finally over, and that they are pleased to announce that Louisville musician Jamison Land has landed the coveted spot of personal man-servant to GWAR bass player Beefcake the Mighty.

Said Land, “I’m ecstatic to be a part of GWAR, it is a dream come true. My first GWAR show was in 1994 at the age of 15. At 18 I worked in a club in Louisville, KY, and I got to make GWAR’s deli-tray. I was so proud.”

Jamison, who for years has been a member of Louisville punk band The Burial , continued-”I feel a bit sore…the initiation is brutal. I probably won’t be able to sit down for a week!”

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