Bohabs!

Deluxe ticket sales for the GWAR B-Q end tonight (August 1st) at Midnight! Official event merchandise can still be purchased at the GWAR B-Q. Standard tickets are still available for purchase at gwarbq.com/buy-tickets!!!

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Horror business is about to pick up! The MISFITS have been revealed as the special secret guest for the 5th Annual GWAR B-Q! GWAR’s festival of meat, music and mayhem will take place on Saturday August 16th at Hadad’s Lake (7900 Osborne Turnpike, Richmond, VA 23231). Led by famous monster Jerry Only, the MISFITS have been carving their own bloody path through punk and metal since 1977.

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Jerry Only joins an impressive roster of talent participating in the VIP Celebrity Meet & Meat. These include Jackass/Viva La Bam star Bam Margera, LA Ink’s Amy Nicoletto, Body Count’s Ice-T, Hatebreed featuring Jamey Jasta, punk rock legend Tesco Vee of the Meatmen and of course all of GWAR – including returning Scumdogs Slymenstra Hymen, Sleazy P. Martini and Sexecutioner! Holders of VIP tickets – which sold out at warp speed – are good to go for this exclusive event. Everyone else is a sad slave.

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(Jello Biafra)

GWAR demands that all attend the Dave Brockie Memorial one day before the GWAR B-Q. Fans, friends and possibly protesters from the Westboro Baptist Church will gather from 4:00pm to 7:00pm on Friday, August 15 at Hadad’s Lake. We can now announce that Jello Biafra – punk icon, Dead Kennedys front man and actor in GWAR’s long-form video Skulhedface – will serve as the memorial’s master of ceremonies. Tribute will be paid to both Brockie and Oderus Urungus, as the Scumdog soldier will receive a Viking funeral set ablaze upon the SS Boat. Show up and bid Oderus farewell as he travels to Valhalla and beyond!

 

The 5th Annual GWAR B-Q opens the floodgates at 10:00am, and the first bands will rage on the GWAR-B-Q’s two stages starting at 10:35am. The first 100 people to arrive will get in first. Get there early, because each explosive act has been handpicked as an awesome complement to molten sun and meat sandwiches! GWAR cares not that you missed the act you wanted to see. So, start your next binge at 10:00am, in true Bohab fashion.

BUT WAIT! Before you meet your untimely demise at the cannibalistic bloody orgy of this year’s GWAR B-Q, your secured entry depends on these items.

PRINT YOUR E-TICKET CONFIRMATION PAGE! NO TICKET! NO ENTRY!
NO PETS! (Don’t leave your pet in the car, asshole!)
NO GLASS!
NO WEAPONS!
NO ALCOHOL!
BACKPACKS AND COOLERS WILL BE CHECKED BY SECURITY!
PARKING IS LIMITED!
CARPOOL, SKATEBOARD, BIKE, BUS OR PARACHUTE!
SINGLE-OCCUPANT CARS WILL BE TURNED AWAY AT THE GATE!

Buses will be shuttling attendees to/from the VCU campus, downtown Richmond, airport hotels and annex parking lots. And speaking of lodging, rooms are still available at one of the five special-discount hotels. All this information and more can be found at http://gwarbq.com/crashing-out.

 

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The Spew-O-Lympics is currently taking applications for potential contestants, because everyone likes to laugh at idiots sacrificing their health and dignity for fame and fortune. Can you topple reigning champion “Gold Member?” It’s going to be hard. Find out how to enter, as well info on other GWAR B-Q events, at gwarbq.com/events-2.

Another spectacle returning to the GWAR B-Q is the skate park. Some will be brave enough to tackle the Rolling Wheels of Death, and some may live to tell the tale. Even you posers will be able to purchase a limited edition 5th Annual GWAR B-Q skateboard. Smack it on your skull and make up a story about how you ate it trying an ollie 360 heel flip.

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Plenty of the new GWAR Beer, Killsner, will be on hand at the GWAR B-Q; but you don’t have to wait until then to pour some down your gullet. Brown Distributing expects to have it stocked in area stores and bars by early August. Proactive bohabs can order it online from Lueken’s Liquors at luekensliquors.com/beer/cigar-city-gwar-4pk-12oz. And finally, GWAR Beer brewer Cigar City Brewing is organizing a special Killsner tasting at their Tampa Florida stronghold. Tampa: It’s not just for strippers anymore! Check www.cigarcitybrewing.com for more information on the GWAR beer tasting event from Cigar City.

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To ensure GWAR has all vices covered, the premium handmade CiGWAR is almost ready to be held in your sweaty, hairy palm. They’re being produced by the world-famous Tajuaje Cigars and its owner Pete Johnson – a company known for handmade, premium Nicaraguan tobacco cigars. Get them at the GWAR B-Q or at Richmond-area Havana Connections locations (11616 Broad Street and 8801-E Three Chopt Road in RVA; 11645 Midlothian Turnpike and 6181 Harbourside Center Loop in Midlothian; and 4920 Courthouse Street in Williamsburg).

JiZMak was blown away by the CiGWAR, saying, “It’s the second best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth!”

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Don’t forget the bloody bookends to the insanity: the B4BQ and the GWafter Party! The B4BQ has a quartet of killer bands, including headliner The Black Dahlia Murder. Don’t miss the action Friday, August 15th at 7:00pm at The Broadberry (2729 W. Broad Street, Richmond VA 23220). Get your tickets at thebroadberry.com/. VIP Premium Ticket holders get in FREE. Don’t forget to bring your printed e-ticket to the door for FREE admittance or else pony up your burger flippin’ bucks for entry.

The GWafter Party is a good goal to shoot for. How many limbs will you have left after your day at Hadad’s Lake? Enough to drag yourself to Bandito’s Burrito Lounge (2905 Patterson Avenue, Richmond, VA 23221) directly after the GWAR B-Q on the night of Saturday, August 16th? That remains to be seen. But if you do, you’ll get to eat tacos and hear music by Mudd Helmut, Polkadot Cadaver and Creep-A-Zoids.

Of course, none of the majesty and depravity of this year’s GBQ would be possible without our key sponsors: Ring Dog Rescue, Mt. Baker Vapor, Cigar City Brewing, Brown Distributing, Monster Energy Drink, Genesee Cream Ale, Blakhart Guitars Guitar Center and Metal Insider.

 

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Human Scum! Your malevolent lords and masters GWAR command you to attend the 5th Annual GWAR B-QAugust 16th at Hadad’s Lake (7900 Osborne Turnpike, Richmond, VA 23231) where we will personally stuff your ugly faces with fistfuls of beer, food and fun until you PUKE!!  Along with our sponsors Mt. Baker Vapor, Brown Distributing, Cigar City Brewing, Genessee Cream Ale and Monster Energy Drink, we personally ensure all humans in attendance will have the time of their pathetic lives at what is shaping up to be the bloodiest bash of the summer.

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GWAR Beer islegendary for being the GWARiest of alcoholic beverages (sorry, Irish GWAR bombs…). Cigar City Brewing has again teamed up with your Scumdog rulers to create a new, and limited edition GWAR BEER: a premium craft brewed “KILLSNER” (pilsner). Readily available at any and all GWAR B-Q festivities, this 5.55% high-octane beer will provide cool refreshment while scrambling your tiny brains. Enough of this stuff, and even you will seem appealing to the herd of tipsy sex cows milling about just waiting to molest you the instant you pass out in a pile of your own effervescent spew.

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Who knew GWAR‘S own BALSAC the JAWS O’ DEATH was a culinary genius? His specially formulated GWAR B-Q Sauce has become harder to locate than Gor-Gor’s leash, but plenty will be on hand at the GWAR B-Q! Spray it on your meat of choice – be it flank, rib, chicken or your own puffy forearm. BalSac recommends his own creation: the GWAR B-Q Meat Sandwich, a painfully scrumptious smoked pork butt that will leave you gagging for more! BalSac’s culinary expertise and delectable menu will be fully realized upon the completion of the GWARbar, fulfilling a longtime dream of Slave Pit Inc. and founder, Dave Brockie. Throw it a “Like” on Facebook at facebook.com/GWARbar to stay up-to-date on the grand opening.

Speaking of Brockie, GWAR B-Q attendees will have a chance to pay respects to GWAR’s founder and frontman at the memorial service taking place from 4:00pm to 7:00pm on Friday, August 15th at Hadad’s Lake. Price of admission? Just a bucket of your tears! Pay tribute to Brockie in the manner of a viking warrior returning to Valhalla, as his alter ego Oderus Urungus is set ablaze upon the SS Boat. Be there when we send the Immortal Corruptor on his journey back home to Scumdogia and beyond.

The two stages at the GWAR B-Q will be packed all day with more brutal bands than you can shake your index and pinkie fingers at. Many of them have already sounded off in anticipation of the event:

  • The Meatmen‘s Tesco Vee recorded a wet and wild video interview
  • Kepone‘s Mike Bishop (longtime member of GWAR) gave this interview
  • Goatwhore‘s Zack discusses popping the band’s GWAR B-Q cherry here
  • Iron Reagan‘s Tony talks about catching a falling BalSac in this interview
  • Loincloth‘s Tannon drops an “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer” reference here
  • Venomous Maximus‘s Christian talks a lot about crack in his interview
  • Fuckface Unstoppable‘s Jess goes caps lock on, ball hair off here
  • Gritter‘s Adam gives the local perspective on GWAR B-Q in this interview
  • Noisem discusses Colt 45 Slip ‘N Slides and other next-level stuff here
  • Revocation‘s Dave promises to be pissed and play fast in this interview
  • Occulist‘s Jim says he saw Utah cop’s gun drawn because of GWAR here

Rumor has it that one scale-tipping special guest is yet to be revealed. The world is not yet ready, but you’re encouraged to keep an eye on gwarbq.com for announcements!

For a full list of announced acts, click over to gwarbq.com/bands/.

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Of course, the biggest news is that GWAR willheadline this festival of human depravity. Those brave enough to attend will have the special, once in a lifetime experience of seeing old-school GWAR legends Slymenstra Hymen, Sexecutioner and Sleazy P. Martini back in action, performing on stage with the most dangerous band in the universe!

Sleazy exclaims, “You can rest assured your corpse will not be wasted as the utmost care will be used to supervise the mass slaughter of all participants, resulting in an orderly disposal and recycling of all corpses for the following year’s GWAR B-Q. The meat has to come from somewhere! So be there to help feed the starving masses. Buy your tickets now and reserve your corpse a place at the top of the heap.”

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Details have been scarce about the GWafter Party, because frankly we didn’t think anyone would be conscious or alive to attend it. But on the off chance we’re wrong, zombies are directed to march to Bandito’s Burrito Lounge (2905 Patterson Avenue, Richmond, VA 23221) directly after the GWAR B-Q on the night of Saturday, August 16th. There, Mudd Helmut and Creep-A-Zoids will perform; re-animated corpses will gorge on Mexi-Cali food; and awkward conversations with well-known musicians will be had.

Five Richmond hotels that offer better accommodations than you deserve are willing to let you jump on their beds and stain their sheets red for a discounted rate. Holiday Inn, Hilton Garden Inn, Hampton Inn, Holiday Inn Express and Homewood Suites all have special deals for GWAR B-Q attendees. So wash your pits, crotch and teeth before you get to the show just to have your chiclets loosened from you skull in the pit by aboot to the grill. Go to gwarbq.com/crashing-out/ for details and group codes.

Don’t forget: Parking at Hadad’s Lake is limited and single-occupant vehicles will be turned away at the gate! Shuttle buses will be running between local annex parking lots, the VCU campus and downtown Richmond straight to Hadad’s Lake. Locations and schedules will be made available between now and eternity at gwarbq.com/transportation.

 

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